Paint balling, go-karting, stomping around town in ‘hilarious’ matching T-shirts… it all seems a bit old hat now. But a stag is a stag. And as long as couples keep getting married men will keep being idiots.
If you’re the best man, you’ve got to organise the bloody thing, and the pressure is on. “Make it fun... but cheap. Boozy... but not too boozy. Nearby... but in Asia, yeah?”
Well, don’t worry, we got you. Here are five ideas for the ultimate stag weekend…
Zombie boot camp
Learn to survive the zombie apocalypse with this highly physical, seriously hardcore military-esque exercise. Designed by ex-forces instructors, you’ll get close-quarter training before storming a compound infested with the living dead, where your mission is to secure the locations and kill the pesky brain-munchers. It’s an immersive simulation with actors, if that’s not clear – no actual brain munching involved. That we know of.
Smash up a car in Hamburg
Unleash your inner hooligan with one of life’s most base pleasures – smashing the shit out of something. In this case, a car. Take a sledgehammer to the bodywork, smash the windows, kick the wing mirrors off, stick a banana up the exhaust pipe... whatever you want. Plus, y’know, you can enjoy the lovely city of Hamburg once you’ve got all that out of your system.
Fish for sharks in Lisbon
Portugal’s capital city has all the pleasures of your traditional stag party abroad – sun, sea, and sizzling nightlife – but isn’t one of those stag destinations infested with British lager louts in ‘Pussay Patrol’ T-shirts. Well, not yet, anyway.
The big draw is the deep sea fishing. There are boat companies all along the coast that will take you out to see if you can hook the Atlantic Ocean’s catch of the day (shark fishing is the thing, but you might even reel in tuna, red snappers, or octopus). Whatever you haul, it’s the ultimate in having a big manly relax – sitting on your arse, sun on your face, beer in hand. Magic.
There’s also a nice spot of culture in the centuries-old district of Alfama, or get yourself up the near-500ft Vasco da Gama Tower to settle that hungover stomach.
You won’t struggle for after hours fun, with terrace bars, underground venues, and the banging Superclub Luxfrágil.
Build a raft in Sweden
Both exhilarating and relaxing, this is like the ultimate boys’ adventure. Vildmark i Varmland have a range of raft-building packages available (the two-day experience will probably be best, but there’s up to eight days available if the wife-to-be will let you get away with it), the basic idea being that you learn to design your own raft from logs and ropes, build the bugger, then sail down the peaceful River Klarälven.
The journey is a mix of gentle drifting and paddling to navigate the raft around some tricky spots. The lengthier package options could see you travel up to 100km along the river. In summer evenings, there’s also a beaver safari, which is pretty much as it sounds – watching for the toothy (and surprisingly big) critters to come out from hiding along the river’s shores.
Depending on how far you travel on the river, accommodation is up to you, as you can opt for on-site cabins or camping along the river. Expect plenty of campfire jostling over who saw the best beaver. Bantz.
A unique attraction in Prague, the relaxation room at this spa is lined with oak whirlpool tubs, filled to the brim with 1,000lt of the delicious Czech Krušovice. The natural hops, yeast, and malt extracts are good for your skin, as the hops oil opens up the pores, while the vitamins and active enzymes in the yeast have a regenerative effect. There’s also a hop sauna and wheat straw bed for relaxing on next to an open fire – and the option of a beer massage if you fancy.
Most importantly, you get an unlimited amount of beer to drink, too, and we’re almost certain it doesn’t come from the whirpool tubs...!
Want more like this? Check out November's FS magazine.